Here’s what you won’t see in 2016

Hillary Clinton speaks at a town hall
rally in Omaha, Neb., on Dec. 16.
Photo: osaswap 
Time again for annual New Year’s
predictions. Here are a few you can
be sure won’t come true in 2016:
●Due to disappointing box-office
sales, “Star Wars: The Force
Awakens” will be the final film in the
series.
●America will “degrade and destroy
ISIS” — just as President Obama
promised. (Russian strongman
Vladimir Putin will provide critical
help in America’s victory.)
●If you like your health plan . . .
●Steve Harvey will be selected to
announce all the Academy Awards
this year.
●Hillary Clinton will go the whole
year without being caught in a lie.
●Hillary Clinton will go a whole week
without being caught in a lie.
●Hillary Clinton will go a day without
being caught in a lie.
●Democrats will hold Hillary Clinton
accountable for her lies.
●The NFL’s Odell Beckham Jr. and
Josh Nash will co-lead a seminar on
conflict resolution.
●Thanks to Washington’s overtures,
Cuba will become a full-fledged
capitalist democracy.
●De Blasio will find a way to keep the
homeless off the streets and stop
bums from using them as a public
bathroom.
●Quentin Tarantino will lead a rally to
honor the sacrifices cops make to
protect Americans.
●With Republicans holding both
houses of Congress, America’s
national debt will decline sharply.
●In the wake of the criminal
convictions of the top two leaders of
the state Legislature — Shelly Silver
and Dean Skelos — Albany will clean
up its act, once and for all.
●After receiving a $150 billion
payment from Washington and
having sanctions lifted, Iran will
abandon its quest for nukes.
●New York Schools Chancellor
Carmen Fariña will raise standards in
public schools — and the schools
will make sure students meet them.
●After Twitter and Facebook fold for
lack of use, no one will remember
what they were.
●In the wake of the Paris climate
agreement, China, India and all the
developing nations will make drastic
cuts in carbon emissions — thus
ending the threat of global warming.
●Universities will once again be
places of free debate and unfettered
inquiry, instead of safe spaces and
leftist indoctrination.
●Sepp Blatter will retain control of
FIFA — and manage to restore its
image.
●The Arab world will embrace
democracy and peaceful co-
existence.
●Secretary of State John Kerry will
use unequivocal terms to condemn
Palestinian attacks on innocent
Israelis — and really mean it.
●Thanks to de Blasio, income
inequality will vanish from the face
of the earth.
●Caitlyn Jenner will become the
world’s leading psychotherapist.
●Donald Trump will present a
detailed and compelling plan to
“make America great again.”
●Nancy Pelosi, Barbara Boxer, Chuck
Schumer and Michael Bloomberg will
become NRA-certified pistol
instructors.
●Hillary Clinton’s campaign will come
up with some reason why Americans
should vote for her, other than that
she’s a woman.
●Reduced state taxes and saner
business regulation will lead to new
investment in Upstate New York —
producing thousands of new jobs.
●As a result of all the new jobs,
more people will move to Upstate
New York than leave it, reversing a
years-long trend.
●ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi
will convert to Judaism.
●Teachers union boss Mike Mulgrew
will apologize for “gumming up the
works” and agree to let schools fire
teachers who can’t teach.
●New York politicians will realize the
best way to push up worker salaries
is to create jobs — and boost
demand for workers.
●In order to be on the “right side of
history,” Putin will withdraw from the
Ukrainian region, return Crimea — and
even give back Patriots owner Robert
Kraft’s Super Bowl ring.
●Columnists will give up predicting
the future.
Happy New Year!

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